Sivaan's Essays, Reflections and Other Writings

Author's Note

The following content consists of personal accounts pertaining to my experiences with alterhuman identity. They are solely indicative of my personal experience with alterhumanity. I consent to the usage of my writings for archival purposes in the alterhuman community, for academic reference pertaining to any studies on the alterhuman community, and for general reference for those who are educating themselves on alterhumanity, nonhumanity, and many more identities beyond the context of human identity.

With that said, I ask that those who reference my writings respect that my experiences are my own; they are not indicative of all alterhuman experiences. For example, you may reference my writings on draconity if it pertains to the perspectives of those who identify as dragons but my writings are not representative of the draconic community as a whole, nor are the processes in which I discovered my draconity indicative of how draconic identity is discovered as everyone has their own unique experiences with their discovery of species (or, what is colloquially known as their "awakening").

On General Alterhumanity

"A Polymorph's Guide to Alterhumanity": Are you curious about alterhumanity? Questioning whether or not it fits you as an individual? Or, are you a human visitor who wants to learn more about this identity of mine? Regardless of reason, you've come to the right place. This document of mine will give you a starting place in your quest to learn about alterhumanity. Please note that this piece is not the end all, be all of information surrounding this label. I highly recommend looking into the resources I suggested in the piece!

"Golden Discoveries of Draconity": A reflection on my discovery of species, specifically as a Gold Dragon. This reflection also involves detailed accounts from my interactions with Aurinax in my dreams. Given that I am primarily draconic, this is one of the most extensive journals that I have written.

"What Lurks Beneath Shell and Scale": Reconstructed from my original Tumblr post, this essay details my discovery of my only quoiic identity: my Aurak Draconian fracture. Unsure if it manifested voluntarily and involutarily, I speculate on the importance of this species within my alterhumanity, reclaim aspects of myself along the way and ultimately learn to accept the gray areas of identity wherever they may lie.

"On Lived Mythology Beyond Earth": A reflection on my experiences as an anymic sphinx (nicknamed "Treasure Sphinx"), specifically in context to being an ancient beast whose archaeosapience and mythic background are based in a world far from this one.

"Love the Townsfolk, Hate the Hero": A reflection on my complex relationship with loving humanity as a being of mythic origins, but also expressing disdain towards humanity's "heroes" and "chosen ones" for their habit of killing my kind to establish "feats" and "accomplishments".

"There's No Riddle Worse Than Gender": A reflection on my being as a sphinx, specifically as a transmasculine and genderqueer sphinx. I discuss the nuances of being a member of a seemingly gender-exclusive species, and what that means to me as a beast beyond the binary.

"To Be A Beastman Across Myth and Fiction": A reflection on how my leonine self translates across not only earthen animality, but plenty of fantastical species, from my being as a Sphinx to my being as a Liondrake!

"Becoming A Beast of My Own Design": An essay that recalls how I first discovered what it meant to be alterhuman, how I came to discover my polymorpism (as well as the many species I am within it) and how I've come to understand who I am today. This essay in particular will be published on the third anniversary of my awakening.

On Fictionhood

"Tapping Into My Alterhumanity Through Sun Haven": A personal reflection on the indie game Sun Haven and how it relates to my alterhumanity. This is an informal piece that touches on hearthome feels, fictionhood and a little bit of concepthood.

"From Faerûn to Hyrule, and Back Again": An essay on my experiences with being fictionfolk. Four out of my six primary species are fictional in orgin, and this piece sheds light on them.

"Memories of a Land Lit with Gold": A comprehesive document of information pertaining to my canon's Lux Aurea. I am a canon-divergent Sunfire Elf, therefore the Xadia I hail from is canon-divergent as well.

"A Yautja's Take on Humankind": An essay on misanthropy, more so a case against it. This is, of course, deeply ironic considering that I am a being whose race regularly engaged in mutual bloodsport with human beings.

"Wings Across Worlds: A Species Study of Draconic Fictionfolk": An in-depth passion project into the many variants of dragons across fiction. This is meant to be a resource for newfound draconic beings who are still trying to pinpoint the nature of their draconity. That said, this is only a fraction of draconity as seen in fiction. Do not consider this study as a definitive source as the depiction of dragons throughout fictional media is immeasurable.

"Merging Canons: An Insight into Being Canon-Ambivalent": A short document that explores my experience with being a canon-ambivalent fictionfolk. What does it mean to be "canon-ambivalent"? Read and find out!

On Animality

The Curious Case of Animal-Humans": A stream-of-consciousness/conversational piece in which I discuss the threshold between humanity and animality, or lack thereof, with one of my soulbonds, Ida.

"The Cycle of Me": An essay on accepting my animality beyond how humanity perceives the cycle of nature. I learn that I am not my own enemy, but rather, I complete me as someone who is often either a predator, prey and a scavenger.

"Revisiting: 'Archaeopothos, A Different Kind of Homesickness'": A reflection that explores a past Dreamwidth journal of mine on mourning one's own extinction. Additional perspective is added in this piece through my perspective as a Barbary Lion, a Smilodon and as other various prehistoric predators.

"Horns that Sit Like a Crown": A reflection that covers my perspective as an antelope pluritherian.

"I Am Not Your Trophy": An essay on my frustrations with trophy hunting as an alterhuman of color, particularly as a leonine pluritherian and an antelope pluritherian.

On Polymorphism and Species Fluidity

"Chronicles of a Draconic Polymorph": An essay that details my experiences with being a polymorph, specifically a polymorph that is intrinsically draconic. I will also delve into how my main fracture as a Gold Dragon and the ability of dragonsight allows me to connect with my fractures as a draconic polymorph.

"'What Happens When Your Species Spreads?': An Insight into How Identity Can Influence Itself": An essay on species fluidity, particularly with how having a primary form can also affect one's relationship with other species that one belongs to.

On Overlapping Identity

"Alterhumanity in Color: Exploring Race Outside of Orthohumanity": An essay on my experiences as an alterhuman of color, particularly as a Soulaani (African-American) alterhuman. This piece will also delve into my thoughts on why some alterhumans, particularly those who are not human, detach themselves from race under the perspective that race is exclusive to orthohumans.

"Bartering with Labels, or Why I Call Myself Transspecies": An informal reflection that examines my relationship with species labels in the alterhuman community, most notably how I came to find that transspecies is the most fitting label for me as a member of this community.

"Selfhood: A Reclaimation of the Other": An essay on how alterhumanity has helped me embrace myself, mainly the frustrations and emotions that I feel and are demonized by American society. This also includes how my connection to often vilified species and my eventual awakening go hand-in-hand with my lived experiences as someone who is black, queer and disabled.

"Bartering with Labels, or Why I Call Myself (Transspecies)": A casual piece about my relationship with labeling myself, particularly in terms of species, and why I ultimately chose Transspecies as my definitive label. This also discuss how my journey with gender parallels that of my journey with species.

Labels I Have Coined

Archaeosapience: An informative piece on "Archaeosapien", an umbrella term and a label for individuals whose identity is intrinsically ancient in nature.

Ontoplanar: An informative piece on the term Ontoplanar, which I coined to describe my experiences as an alterhuman whose alterhumanity is experienced both metaphysically and psychologically. This will also include "On Ontoplanarity". a coining essay I wrote on the label.

Miscellaneous Musings

"Where the Heart Belongs": Observations that I have made in regards to the phenomenon of hearthomes within the alterhuman community.

"A Fruit Best Savored than Wasted: Wise Serpent Archetropy": A reflection on how I've come to embody the trope of the Wise Serpent through reconciling with my past and embracing selfhood over self-suppression.

"The Pen, The Sword and One Who Wields Them All": A reflection on being an archetroper with fantasy-centered lifestyles: the Cloistered Scholar, the Storyteller, the Quest Guide.

"Understanding the Solisverse: My Verse as a Sunfire Fumelei (Delta)": Reconstructed from my original Tumblr post, these writings detail the cultural workings of my verse as a Sunfire Elf. This is in context to misceverse as a lifestyle and practice. My ties to this experience stem purely from my noemata as a Sunfire Elf and from the help of my soulbond, Janai.

"Truancy Across Realms: A Soulbonder's Account": A reflection on how I became a soulbonder, and more importantly, my relationship with my soulbonds.

"The Curious Case of Animal-Humans": A stream-of-consciousness/conversational piece in which I discuss the threshold between humanity and animality, or lack thereof, with one of my soulbonds, Ida.