Introducing: Sivaan of Candlekeep

Storyteller, Scholar and Scribe

Biography:

Sivaan of Candlekeep (he/himself, xe/xemself, beast/beastself) is a twenty-two year old transmasculine, genderqueer beast working as a freelance writer. With his B.A. in tow, this alterhuman academic dedicates much of his life to an unending quest for knowledge. Although showing many signs of both otherkinity and therianthropy in his childhood, he did not awaken as either until much later in his life. On April 25, 2022, Sivaan made peace with himself and awakened as Otherkin. As of December 26, 2023, Sivaan awakened as Therian as well. Over time, he grew to prefer the terms "alterhuman" for his collective experiences and "transspecies" for his species-based experiences. At the beginning of 2024, Sivaan created this website to archive all of his projects.

I suppose I should start with what I am. I am a draconic polymorph, first and foremost. My draconity serves as the core of my being, alongside my ontoplanarity and alterfictionality. I regard my experience with species to be quoiluntary. I believe identity to be more nuanced than these dichotomies, although I can see why they would be relevant to others. I belong to species that came about on their own, came about by choice and everything in between, thus I can't align my entire identity on one side of the scale. It wouldn't be true to my experience.

As mentioned prior, I belong to the fictionfolk community. Fiction-based identity is a common topic that I touch on in my writings, given that most of my noemata involves my sources. Although I have many sources, my source of origin is Dungeons & Dragons. D&D is a core part of my identity, not only in terms of species but my ontoplanarity, heartedness and archetropy as well. Furthermore, the canon I belong to is responsible for my knowledge of my parallel lives in fiction. In my canon, Dragonsight is accesible to all dragons upon adulthood. However, most dragons shut out this ability because of its intensity. I may not access dragonsight in this world, but I do believe it to be the reason why I am aware of these lives and have a connection to their memories.

I am very passionate about the preservation of the arts, history, and cultural resources. Inspired by old websites in the otherkin and therian communities, as well as the archivists of today, I created this website as a means to preserve my own work. I also made this website to house resources for humans and nonhumans alike on alterhumanity. Since proper information on the alterhuman community is heavily underrepresented, I decided to make my neocities both a fun and educational experience for those who interact with it. While I don't necessarily consider them resources, I hope that my personal works inspire you to explore the creative and introspective sides of our community!

The following werecard is structured after classic werecards from early were, therianthrope and otherkin communities online. You can access the original template here. I recommend giving the archived werecards a look too!

Please note that I did omit some sections from the original template for internet safety purposes. Be sure to do the same if you intend on making a werecard of your own with the original template.

Werecard:

Earthen Name: Solomon. It is the name I chose upon transitioning. I consider it equal to my draconic name, so please respect it as you would with my draconic name.
Were Name: Sivaasonikaan, which is "Beast(ly) Wisdom" and "Beast of Wisdom" in Dovahzul. I go by Sivaan for short.
Phenotype(s): I am a draconic polymorph with 30+ species. I'm primarily a gold dragonne, or liondrake, from Faerûn. My other core identities include: The Winged Lion, or "Lord of the Dungeon", sourced from Delicious in Dungeon; an anymic sphinx from the Radiant Citadel; an anymic manticore from a canon-divergent Theros; a Lionblood Mundu-Mugo from Wagadu; and an Apostate, which is a homebrewed Celestial race. You can familiarize yourself with my other species and labels at the Bestiary section of my website!
Shifting Ability: Shifting is a complicated subject for me. I don't experience mental shifts since I'm always a polymorph. My polymorphism is intrinsic to who I am, therefore it is always present. I experience what I call "species shifts" between my 'types, but I never shift in or out of being a polymorph. When I am one of my 'types, I am still a polymorph through it all. That part never changes. Furthermore, my humanity and nonhumanity are woven very closely together. My nonhuman animality is never separated from my humanity, thus I am equally a human animal and nonhuman animal. Rather than oppose each other, each perspective coincides with each other. Everything is intertwined as one. Besides general "shifting" and things related to it, my relationship with shape-shifting is different. As a polymorph, I am like ink on paper or paint on a canvas. The possibilities of my form is practically limitless. That said, I do not hold much control over the species I take the shape of. Some species came about on their own, either because I belong to them in a parallel life or through pure coincidence. A few came about because I chose them for varying reasons. Whatever the case may be, how a form enters my repertoire depends on the circumstance. Additionally, I don't choose what I become when I shape-shift. In my case, phantom shape-shifting is completely unpredictable. I have fully formed phantom bodies, and the features on these bodies indicate what I currently am. It doesn't help that my polymorphism has its own dichtomy that complicates things: it is split between species within my repertoire (i.e. species that I actually identify as) and species outside of my repertoire (i.e. species that I don't identify as but can become if my subconcious adapts to its appearance). All in all, one can see why I find the topic of shifting to be so complicated.
Dream Territory: Originally, it was a historic castle or tower. To have ancient ruins and architecture embellishing my roost were perfect to me. Naturally, it had to be somewhere where I could store my hoard of knowledge and fly as freely as I wanted too. Alas, daydreaming about my tower, Goldspyre, and my overall section of Candlekeep's campus will have to suffice.
Physical Description (Were): I have many forms on account of my polymorphism, so I will limit this section to my primary form instead. As a Gold Dragonne, my body is somewhat serpentine. It is similar to the body type of gold dragons as seen in the 2024 Player's Handbook but with much larger wings. On my head, my mane is thick and bound together much like dreadlocks. In addition to having a mane, I have a total of six horns with the first set outsizing the rest. Characteristic to all liondrakes, my golden face has a leonine sculpt to it. In some ways, it looks similar to the masks used in Broadway's The Lion King but metallic instead of wooden. Furthermore, I don't only have the features of a lion in this form. Since my leonine identity is very intertwined with my antelope identity, I also have the features of a greater kudu. Both the markings on my face and the shape of my ears match that of a greater kudu. The first set of my horns match the horns of a greater kudu bull as well. Lastly, my eyes have dark red scelera with warm, glowing yellow pupils, burning hot like coals.
Hobbies/Interests: Creative writing, reading, playing video games, playing tabletop role-playing games (TTRPGs), collecting dice, listening to podcasts (especially on anthropology, archaeology, mythology and folklore), watching nature documentaries, and independent researching.
Favorite Movies: Castle in the Sky (1986), Tokyo Godfathers (2003), Daughters of the Dust (1991), Ganja and Hess (1973), Nope (2022), Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009), Kubo and the Two Strings (2016), The Green Knight (2021), Pan's Labyrinth (2006), Interstellar (2014), and Candyman (1992 and 2021).
Favorite Were-Movie: The Lion King (1994), The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride (1998), Spirit: Stallion of Cimarron (2002), Princess Mononoke (1997), Spirited Away (2001), The Neverending Story (1984), Transformer One (2024), and all movies within the Predator franchise (especially Prey).
Favorite Literature: The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin, The Power of the Porch by Trudier Harris, A Visitation of Spirits by Randall Kenan, Let the Dead Bury Their Dead by Randall Kenan, Mama Day by Gloria Gaynor, Mules and Men by Zora Neale Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston, The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo and The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran.
Favorite Were Literature: Dragonology by Dugald Steer, Fizban's Treasury of Dragons (D&D), Dungeons & Dragons' Worlds and Realms: Adventures From Greyhawk to Faerûn, Tooth and Claw by Jo Walton, The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien, The Unwanteds Series by Lisa McMann, The Wings of Fire series, the Jughead: The Hunger comic book series, and A Werewolf in Riverdale by Caleb Roehrig.
Favorite Were-Quote: "Thurisvant eth donsjeret!" It means: "Every lair has two ways out!"; it is a dragonborn saying that is an equivalent to the saying, "When there is a will, there is a way!". It is said during times of adversity, in which one will need to find another approach out of their situation. I've always liked this phrase from Dragonborn culture. I admire their tenacity!
Favorite Song(s)/Music Artist(s): Fantastic Negrito, Buffalo Nichols, Gary Clark Jr., Howlin' Wolf, Muddy Waters, Blood Orange, Dreamer Isioma, Frank Ocean, Yves Tumor, Tobi Perriáe, Mystery Skulls, Glass Animals, Tame Impala, Nujabes, The Oh Hellos and Survive Said the Prophet.
Preferred Prey: Beef. I'm not crazy about sirloin steaks or steaks in general (lamb chops are better in my opinion), but I love all manners of beef dishes outside of it. Be it a stew, a bacon cheeseburger or served with a bed of white rice, I take whatever's put on my plate. Poultry is a close second, but that's likely due to me being a raptor bird.
Hunting Tips: If you can change between forms like me, then hunting is easy. You just need to nail down your shape-shifting. That's the not-so-easy part. I take the form of something that my prey is familiar with. That way, they aren't hostile towards me or suspicious of me in any way. I wouldn't recommend pretending to be a part of a herd, a flock, etc, though. False appearances are a major advantage, but your prey isn't stupid. They can recognize who is and who is not one of their own. I recommend taking the form of a nearby tree or plant life they aren't currently eating. After that, wait until they graze close enough. It's a better approach than choosing to strike while masquerading as one of their own.
Preferred Method of Attack: WOE, FIRE BLAST BE UPON YE!
Favorite Mythological Beast (That Isn't Myself): I am quite fond of centaurs, cervitaurs, nymphs and other nature spirits. Being a draconic faun and a leotaur respectively, my fondness extends to kinship towards these beings. I also enjoy the presence of sirens, but that's purely out of bias. After all, my girlfriend is a siren!
Personal Alterhumanity: I have many points in my life in which my alterhumanity should have been clear, particularly my otherkinity and therianthropy. The downside was that these signs were quickly brushed off as phases at best, and even more targets on my back at worst. Growing up as a black, disabled and (then) questioning queer child, I already had a lot cut out for me in this life. Some of it was not all great, as you would imagine. Even so, I am glad that I'm able to embrace who I am now.

The first sign had been my first special interest, which was lycanthropy. I had a deep admiration for werewolves as a child. That admiration became so strong that I longed to be one. Of course, I would soon realize in my adult years that I am not specifically a werewolf but a werelion. Furthermore, I would soon realize that my leonthropy was my primary species either. A second sign of my alterhumanity, which was much more relative to who I am today, had been American Dragon: Jake Long. At the time, it was my favorite show as a kid. I loved watching his adventures as he shifted in and out of the human world, protected mythical beings great and small, and put his own swag on draconity. I admired him even more than werewolves. Hell, I envied him. How cool would to be for a secret fantasy world to exist in the Deep South, where I could regularly interact and protect mythical beings within my home? Other series like Trollz (2005), Winx Club (2004-onward) and various Scooby Doo adaptations had me longing for worlds beyond this one. Worlds of magic and adventure abound were all I wanted! On one hand, this partially sparked my love of writing. On the other hand, I can also see these days of my childhood as a late realization of where I truly belonged.

Entering middle school became a huge turn in life for my identity. For example, I became more familiar with what it meant to be a queer person and soon realized that I am bisexual. My discovery of alterhumanity was not as ideal, unfortunately. I first became familiar with our community through the term Otherkin. I learned of this term when I opened Vine one day. On my feed, an account posted a clip of Naia ōkami out of context. If that name doesn't ring a bell for you, Naia is the woman who's famously known for her line: "On all levels except physical, I am a wolf." That being said, you can imagine how disrespectful people were to Naia's identity within the replies. For me, I was curious if anything. I dug through the replies for context on what made Naia feel this way, and eventually noticed that the word "Otherkin" was mentioned in passing in context to the video. I decided to look into this identity myself. I had never been much of a spiritual person, but learning that there were individuals out there who were another species other than human made me feel something I had never felt before. It would linger in the back of my mind for a while. I would think of my past interest with lycanthropes. I thought of my admiration and jealousy towards Jake Long. I thought of my ongoing love for the fantasy genre as well. I thought of my desire to be in those worlds, act like anything other than a human and ultimately, be anything else than a human. Could I have been Otherkin all along?

I tossed and turned with the thought for so long. It wasn't any uncertainty that perturbed me, but the visibility of it. I felt like this experience was something that deeply resonated with me, but I feared how I would be perceived because of it. I know for sure that telling my immediate family was out of the question. Telling my friends was a hard maybe. Identifying as Otherkin with what little of an online presence I had was even more of a gamble. I distinctly remember how on one night, I had made an awakening post of sorts on my multifandom tumblr blog. I made it to announce that I was Otherkin and steadily piecing together my identity. After an hour of posting, I deleted it. I had never spoken on otherkinity, or any kind of alterhumanity or nonhumanity for that matter, again because my fears steadily consumed me. I was a child when cringe compilations and cringe culture in general were at an all-time high. The last thing I wanted was to share this part of myself, only to be excessively bullied for it. Besides, I was already experiencing a deeply sensitive time in my life for personal reasons. I decided to leave these thoughts alone, to lock them away and never acknowledge them again.

... That is, until, I entered my college years. Around the years of 2021 and 2022, I met a lot of new people in my life. One of which is a good friend of mine, Lysander. I met Lysander through a shared mutual on Twitter. We became fast friends through our connection to xenogender identities, gender hoarding and unique expressions of transmasculinity. At the time, I had identified as genderfluid and not genderqueer, which is something that we connected with as well. One key thing about Lysander is that it is otherkin. Otherkinity is a huge part of Lysander's identity as an individual, so much so that it is a major part of its queerness as well. In the midst of making flags on Twitter, I made a flag in connection to angels. It was around this time that through a lot of information shared by Lysander on otherkinity, and its own pride in being otherkin, that I had a heart-to-heart with myself.

Lysander's only a couple years younger than you, yet nothing is stopping it from embracing itself. Not even the worst anti-kin, "cringe"-claiming assholes online stop it from being open about its identity. Why can't you do the same?

I wound up DM'ing Lysander about it, specifically about questioning if I was otherkin again. I had expressed that I was likely an angel based on my connection to the gender I made... this was a half truth. I was indeed otherkin, but I was no angel. You can probably ask Lysander yourself, and it will tell you that I've had a rollercoaster of identity questionings and explorations until reaching where I am now. Telling Lysander, my partner and my friends about my otherkinity was the first step of the journey. It was on April 25, 2022 when I awakened to my alterhumanity. I was ridiculously happy with myself. I went on to meet even more awesome folks along the way like Cain, who is by far the coolest coyote shifter I have ever met.

As of December 26, 2023, I awakened to my animality as well. Early into my time in the alterhuman and nonhuman community, I had been under the belief that therians were exclusively earthen animals in mind, in spirit and in physicality, but I clearly had much to learn about my community at that point. I soon learned of fictherians, folcintera and theriomythic therianthropes along the way. I learned of paleotherians, pluritherians, and cladotherians too. It didn't matter where one fell in terms of labels, even if one didn't use labels at all; all that mattered was the community had been far more diverse than I first assumed. It was, and still is, amazing to see and learn from.

I realized that many of these categories applied to some of my theriotypes. I am technically theriomythic and a paleotherian among other things. While there are a good amount of earthen species that I realized I am, I find the distinctively mythic and/or prehistoric qualities of my other species to be an equally beautiful, unique experience in comparison.

Aside from both otherkinity and therianthropy, however, I've long realized that the broadness of alterhuman as a label feels so good. My prefered labels in this community are now Alterhuman and Transspecies. Being a transspecies polymorph is the end all, be all of my truth, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Not everyone will share the same experience as I do, as mine is only one out of thousands. In fact, nothing makes me happier than to dig through archives and read about all the different awakening experiences of weres, therians, elves, dragons and many more back in the years before my own awakening. I love learning from them, their histories, their journals, their joys and their sorrows. I love learning about them as I learn about myself. I cannot articulate the feeling that it invokes within me, but I can say this: I would not trade this experience for anything else in the world. I've met wonderful beings, beasts, creatures, and people as time goes on. Most importantly, my friends Lysander and Cain are always an inspiration to me as I further explore my place within this community. I truly would not be where I am now as an alterhuman without them.

Even now, just sharing my story with you is enough to bring me peace. Who knows, maybe sharing it here will give someone the same push I needed back in 2022. If that's the case, then don't be afraid to be yourself. I know that for some folks, it's safer to embrace your truth in secret. That's perfectly fine. I know for others, the idea is entirely too harrowing to consider but I promise you this: pushing past that moment of temporary fear for years of unapologetic self-acceptance will always be worth it over a lifetime of denial. All you need to do is unclip those wings and soar.