Introducing Sivaan of Candlekeep

Essayist, Poet, and Storyteller

he/him, xe/xem, beast/beastself, lore/loreself

Biography:

I am a transmasculine, genderqueer beast with a background in cultural anthropology, folklore, and English literature. I'm also the frontrunner and innkeeper of the Dragonsight Society (see: Plural Hub). On April 25, 2022, I awakened as Otherkin. On December 26, 2023, I awakened as Therian as well. Although I no longer use these specific labels, I remain active within the alterhuman community through my writings. As of 2024, I created this website to archive all of my projects.

The following werecard is structured after classic werecards from early were, therianthrope and otherkin communities online. You can access the original template here. I recommend giving the archived werecards a look too!

Please note that I did omit some sections from the original template for internet safety purposes. Be sure to do the same if you intend on making a werecard of your own with the original template.

Werecard:

  • Earthen Name: Solomon. It is the name I chose upon transitioning. I consider it equal to my draconic name, so please respect it as you would with my draconic name.
  • Other Name(s): Sivaasonikaan, which is "Beast(ly) Wisdom" and "Beast (of) Wisdom" in Dovahzul. I go by Sivaan for short. I also go by Kerberos, or Kero for short.
  • Species: I am a fictional character and fantasy shapeshifter. I put emphasis on "fantasy" because all of my core identities/base forms originate from fantasy media. Occasionally, I label this experience as my "liondrake" fictomere as well. In context to fictionhood, I am: The Winged Lion (Delicious in Dungeon), Kerberos or "Kero" (Cardcaptor Sakura), Elios (Sun Haven), a Gold Dragon (D&D), an Obelisk Dragon of Light Flight (Flight Rising), a Sunfire Elf (The Dragon Prince), and a Magical Girl Otherhuman (no known source). Outside of fictionhood, I am a and a living bestiary. This is an in-between state of mine as I go through phantom shifts.
  • Shifting Ability: I don't experience mental shifts. I am constantly phantom-shifted on account of the phantom bodies I have, which are triggered by my polymorphism. When I am one of my core species or constels, I'm still affected by my polymorphism. That part never changes. Additionally, I don't choose what I become when I shape-shift. In my case, phantom shape-shifting is completely unpredictable. I have fully formed phantom bodies, and the features on these bodies indicate what I currently am. It doesn't help that my experience with shape-shifting is sometimes beyond my control. All in all, one can see why I find the topic of shifting to be complicated.
  • Dream Territory: A historic castle, fortress, or tower. To have ancient ruins and architecture embellishing my roost were perfect to me. Naturally, it had to be somewhere where I could store my hoard of knowledge and fly as freely as I wanted too. Alas, daydreaming about Candlekeep will have to suffice.
  • Hobbies/Interests: Creative writing, reading, playing video games, playing tabletop role-playing games (TTRPGs), collecting dice, listening to podcasts (especially on anthropology, archaeology, mythology and folklore), watching nature documentaries, and visiting museums
  • Favorite Source Quote: "Thurisvant eth donsjeret!" It means: "Every lair has two ways out!"; it is a dragonborn saying that is an equivalent to the saying, "When there is a will, there is a way!". It is said during times of adversity, in which one will need to find another approach out of their situation. I've always liked this phrase from Dragonborn culture.
  • Personal Alterhumanity: I have many points in my life in which my alterhumanity should have been clear, particularly my otherkinity and therianthropy. The downside was that these signs were quickly brushed off as phases at best, and even more targets on my back at worst. Growing up as a black, disabled and (then) questioning queer child, I already had a lot cut out for me in this life. Some of it was not all great, as you would imagine. Even so, I am glad that I'm able to embrace who I am now.

    • The first sign had been my first special interest, which was lycanthropy. I had a deep admiration for werewolves as a child. That admiration became so strong that I longed to be one. Of course, I would soon realize in my adult years that I am not specifically a werewolf but a werelion. Furthermore, I would soon realize that my leonthropy was my primary species either. A second sign of my alterhumanity, which was much more relative to who I am today, had been American Dragon: Jake Long. At the time, it was my favorite show as a kid. I loved watching his adventures as he shifted in and out of the human world, protected mythical beings great and small, and put his own swag on draconity. I admired him even more than werewolves. Hell, I envied him. How cool would to be for a secret fantasy world to exist in the Deep South, where I could regularly interact and protect mythical beings within my home? Other series like Trollz (2005), Winx Club (2004-onward) and various Scooby Doo adaptations had me longing for worlds beyond this one. Worlds of magic and adventure abound were all I wanted! On one hand, this partially sparked my love of writing. On the other hand, I can also see these days of my childhood as a late realization of where I truly belonged.

    Entering middle school became a huge turn in life for my identity. For example, I became more familiar with what it meant to be a queer person. Later along the line, I learned that I am transgender and that I am a lesbian on the asexual spectrum. My discovery of alterhumanity was not as ideal, unfortunately. I first became familiar with our community through the term Otherkin. I learned of this term when I opened Vine one day. On my feed, an account posted a clip of Naia Ōkami out of context. If that name doesn't ring a bell for you, Naia is the woman who's known for the line: "On all levels except physical, I am a wolf." She's hit a pretty big nosedive in the community, but that's besides the point. Regarding my discovery, you can imagine how disrespectful people were to Naia's identity within the replies. I was curious about it if anything. I dug through the replies for more information on why Naia feel this way, and noticed that the word "Otherkin" kept being mentioned in passing. I decided to look into this myself. Learning that there were individuals out there like me introduced my young mind to a whole new world. The otherkin community would linger in the back of my mind for a while. It made me think of my past interest with lycanthropes. I also thought of my admiration and jealousy towards Jake Long. My love for the fantasy genre wasn't far behind either. Above all else, I remembered my desire to be in those worlds. Could I have been Otherkin all along?

    I tossed and turned with the thought for so long. It wasn't any uncertainty that perturbed me, but the visibility of it. I felt like this experience was something that deeply resonated with me, but I feared how I would be perceived because of it. I know for sure that telling my immediate family was out of the question. Telling my friends was a hard maybe. Identifying as Otherkin with what little of an online presence I had was even more of a gamble. I distinctly remember how on one night, I had made an awakening post of sorts on my multifandom tumblr blog. I made it to announce that I was Otherkin and steadily piecing together my identity. After an hour of posting, I deleted it. I had never spoken on otherkinity, or any kind of alterhumanity or nonhumanity for that matter, again because my fears steadily consumed me. I was a child when cringe compilations and cringe culture in general were at an all-time high. The last thing I wanted was to share this part of myself, only to be excessively bullied for it. Besides, I was already experiencing a deeply sensitive time in my life for personal reasons. I decided to leave these thoughts alone, to lock them away and never acknowledge them again.

    ... That is, until, I entered my college years. Around the years of 2021 and 2022, I met a lot of new people in my life. One of which is a good friend of mine, Lysander. I met Lysander through a shared mutual on Twitter. We became fast friends through our connection to xenogender identities, gender hoarding and unique expressions of transmasculinity. At the time, I had identified as genderfluid and not genderqueer, which is something that we connected with as well. One key thing about Lysander is that it is otherkin. Otherkinity is a huge part of Lysander's identity as an individual, so much so that it is a major part of its queerness as well. In the midst of making flags on Twitter, I made a flag in connection to angels. It was around this time that through a lot of information shared by Lysander on otherkinity, and its own pride in being otherkin, that I had a heart-to-heart with myself.

    Lysander's only a couple years younger than you, yet nothing is stopping it from embracing itself. Not even the worst anti-kin, "cringe"-claiming assholes online stop it from being open about its identity. Why can't you do the same?

    I wound up DM'ing Lysander about it, specifically about questioning if I was otherkin again. I had expressed that I was likely an angel based on my connection to the gender I made... this was a half truth. I was indeed otherkin, but I was no angel. You can probably ask Lysander yourself, and it will tell you that I've had a rollercoaster of identity questionings and explorations until reaching where I am now. Telling Lysander, my partner and my friends about my otherkinity was the first step of the journey. It was on April 25, 2022 when I accepted my identity. In other words, I awakened. I was ridiculously happy with myself. I went on to meet even more awesome folks along the way like Cain, who is by far the coolest coyote shifter I've met.

    As of late, I've realized that the broadness of alterhuman as a label feels better to use. I am still fictionkin, but that is the only kin-based label I use; fictionhood is a major part of my experiences, so I feel no need to use the general otherkin label. Other labels I've come to prefer are transspecies, folcintera, imagithrope, constelic, and ontoplanar (the last of which was coined by me!). Not everyone will share the same experience as I do, as mine is only one out of thousands. In fact, nothing makes me happier than to dig through archives and read about all the different awakening experiences of weres / therians, elves, dragons, and many more in the years before my own awakening. I love learning from them, their stories, their joys, and their sorrows. I love learning about them as I learn about myself. I can't articulate the feeling that it invokes within me, but I can say this: I would not trade this experience for anything else in the world. I've met wonderful beings, beasts, creatures, and people as time goes on. Most importantly, my friends Lysander and Cain are always an inspiration to me as I further explore my place within this community. I truly would not be where I am now as an alterhuman without them.

    Even now, just sharing my story with you is enough to bring me peace. Who knows, maybe sharing it here will give someone the same push I needed back in 2022. If that's the case, then don't be afraid to be yourself. I know that for some folks, it's safer to embrace your truth in secret. That's perfectly fine. I know for others, the idea is entirely too harrowing to consider but I promise you this: pushing past that moment of temporary fear for years of unapologetic self-acceptance will always be worth it over a lifetime of denial. All you need to do is unclip those wings and soar.